


Crystal Clear

by d_aia



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Dark vs. Light, Future Fic, M/M, Post-Canon, mentions of torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 06:00:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5697649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_aia/pseuds/d_aia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Organa gave a minute flinch and nodded. Poe thought about feeling guilty for three whole seconds. Then he remembered Finn, smiling and squeezing his shoulder, going to his death for all he knew. And Poe forgot all about guilt. </p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>The post-canon fic nobody asked for, but I still wrote.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crystal Clear

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Characters and locations are not mine.
> 
> A/N: This is about two months after the events of the movie.

PROLOGUE

“Why aren’t they opening?” Finn shouted.

“I don't know,” Poe said with what seemed to be forced calm. It had to be, no one was that carefree amidst the lights and explosions. “But I can probably get through them.”

Poe had been caught by the First Order during what looked like a routine mission, but had been, in fact, an ambush. Which meant that the Resistance had a traitor. And Finn had been the convenient target of people not wanting to accept that among them was the person who betrayed their hero. General Organa had been caught between her people, and somebody she respected, but didn’t know so well. In the end, Finn had been very politely asked to remain within range of the surveillance droids, and all requests to be allowed to go after Poe had been denied. At least General Organa had looked pained when she had explained that this was the only way Finn would be cleared, and that Poe knew the risks.

Finn understood that. He even understood that she had lost someone dear to her because someone close to her had betrayed her, and that the mission he embarked on to save Rey had been important for the continued existence of the Resistance. This one… it was important to Resistance, yes, but mostly it was important to him. And since the Resistance had shown more interest in debating whether Finn was _their_ —because he clearly was _a—_ traitor, than in actually doing something for Poe, he had snuck out. The Resistance was never his cause. He had gotten onto a transport ship, from there into some kind of port, then another ship that went into yet another port, and, long story short, almost two weeks after leaving D'Qar, he had managed to steal a Stormtrooper uniform and had infiltrated the First Order outpost. It had taken several hours to find Poe and get him out.

Poe was… a little dinged. Mostly what you would find in a prisoner, cuts and bruises, malnourishment and disorientation. What seemed more peculiar was that he wasn’t able to move his right arm much and when he did, it was with considerable pain. Poe had explained it due to a failed escape attempt not even two days before that ended with Kylo Ren snapping it cleanly, and leaving it to heal on its own so he won't be able to fly. But Poe was the best pilot of the Resistance and could handle flying one handed. Finn thought they were away scot free… Until the hangar doors didn’t react to the sensors in the TIE fighter, and stayed shut.

“Through the doors?” Finn asked incredulous. “Would there even be enough of this tin can to fly afterwards? I remember that they are not the most durable.”

“That’s not fair!” Poe said, probably insulted on behalf of the fighter. “It was shot down.”

“Well, I am going down,” Finn said.

“What? No!” Poe shouted, and for the first time Finn could hear fear in his voice. “Are you seeing what I’m seeing? There is no way you’re coming back in.”

The bay resembled a firework with them in the center, only instead of focusing outwards, this one was focusing inwards.

“Hey, hey,” Finn soothed. “Nothing is going to happen to me. And if it does, then… It's my turn, okay.” He gripped Poe's left shoulder. “So… if something happens… don’t wait. Go!” Finn's hand tightened. “Just go!”

Poe shook his head. “I can't.”

“’Course you can. The Resistance wants its best pilot back.” Finn smiled.

“And fly one-handed?” tried Poe desperately.

“I trust you.”

With one last squeeze, Finn left the fighter amid a light show from various weaponry. He got cover fire from Poe, and he had a blaster. It would have to be enough. Finn didn’t even think they were aiming anymore. There was no way they kept missing otherwise. And anyway, the chances of Finn getting hit by anything decreased when Poe started to do some pretty impressive turns in the air. Especially considering that he was flying one handed.

Finn somehow got to the bay dock— he would have been ashamed on behalf of his ex-colleagues, if it didn’t keep him alive—and he saw that the hangar door was open. Only it wasn’t. It should have been though, which meant that it was something holding it closed. Or someone. Kylo Ren.

Kriff the Force! Every time he thought things were going one way, they were actually going another. It became the underlying answer to every question of ‘Why is this happening?’: because the Force. Like, ‘Why are you on that planet?’ ‘Because I have to find the Jedi and balance the Force.’ ‘Why is the First Order after you?’ ‘Same reason,’ ‘Why is Kylo Ren so powerful that he took over your mind?’ ‘Because the Force.’ Finn sighed and looked around for Ren. Maybe if Finn distracted him, Poe would be able to get away.

Seeing Ren with his hand extended towards the doors—as was his custom—Finn aimed his blaster. He shot thrice in quick succession. The bolts didn’t reach their target, they froze in the air midway. But Ren was successfully distracted. That was the good news. The doors started opening, other good news. Finn got thrown into a support beam as the bad news. He lost his blaster on the way too.

And bad news were not over yet. Ren sidestepped the bolts. He unfroze them to hit harmlessly a wall. Then extended his arm again and the doors started closing. Finn couldn’t let that happen. He started reaching for his blaster. But the pain in his back was so bad and the blaster was so far away… he just couldn’t reach. So he tried again. Feeling the distance in his body’s extension, he held his breath. A bit more. His fingers almost touched it, they were brushing up against it, when he looked up. The doors had stopped closing. Finn looked at Ren and he was still Forced-up, arm extended, heavy breathing. So what the…

Oh.

Oh, _Finn_ was doing it. All right. He could work with that. Sure. Aaaaand reach… Poe was almost out. Ren turned abruptly. He cocked his head. Come on, Poe. Nearly there. Ren was coming towards Finn. But someone was closing the doors manually and Finn had to hold on to his reason for doing it. He couldn’t let himself be distracted. Aaaaaaand Poe was out. Right on time. Finn knew Ren had reached him. He didn’t know why he wasn't panicked. Why was he suddenly so sleepy? Why was everything suddenly unimportant? Why… Then he knew no more.

 

 

CHAPTER 1

Poe would later find out he had woken up after three days had passed since his arrival. He had landed hurt and not making any sense. Everyone was happy he was back, but they had felt relieved when the doctors had sedated him. He didn’t remember any of it. What he did remember, was the first word he said after waking up.

“Finn?”

Poe's eyes were still closed.

“You are safe,” General Organa said soothingly.

“Finn?” Poe's throat was sore, so the word was more of a croak.

“Here’s some water,” Organa said, and apparently Poe had failed to make himself understood. “You are in the medical ward of the Resistance.”

Poe hastily took a drink. Then a couple more because his throat was parched. He forced himself to stop and ask, “Where is Finn?”

 “You are in D'Qar,” Organa continued as if she hadn’t heard him. “You made it.”

“ _What—about—Finn?”_ Poe asked, enunciating each word. “He didn’t make it out when I did, I know that. But what about afterwards? Do we know anything?”

Organa blinked. “You better tell me what happened.”

A feeling of dread started creeping up on Poe and he frowned.

“They tried to find out… well, just about anything about the Resistance.” Poe swallowed. “But I wouldn’t tell them and they knew it. So they kept me prisoner. As leverage, I thought. Then, I caught a moment when they were distracted and made for the exit.”

Organa stayed silent while Poe gathered himself.

“Apparently they were distracted because Kylo Ren had arrived… I had the honor of finding _that_ out when he broke my hand. He used the Force. It was a clean break and they left it to heal on its own, but I had no more hope. For escape, or to keep silent about the Resistance.”

Organa's hands were so tightly clenched that they were white.

“But Kylo Ren didn’t seem eager to get started, and in two days' time Finn arrived.  Honestly, he is the only reason why I’m here. He pretty much bundled me into a TIE fighter, while I had trouble figuring out which way was up.”

Here, Organa closed her eyes. She seemed pained. It didn’t make Poe any more relaxed.

“But the hangar doors didn’t pick up the fighter's sensor, and remained closed, so Finn climbed down to see what went wrong. The next part is… I'm not clear on what happened, but it looked to me like Finn tried to distract Ren. When that only worked for a bit, I… I think that he used the Force? Finn, I mean. They were both with their arms extended, and somehow Ren way losing, I think, because next thing I know, Ren gave up. He went after Finn.” Poe licked his lips. “It was the last thing I saw: Ren standing over Finn, the latter not moving, unconscious… or dead.”

Poe finished talking. He was still pondering the horrible possibly. It was… no. He didn’t want to believe it.

After taking a deep breath, Organa started talking in a measured tone.

“We knew you were ambushed,” Organa said. “We knew the chances of getting to you while you were alive were slim,” she continued. In a whisper she added, “We suspected Finn.” Then she lifted her chin and met Poe’s eyes. “We thought we had it confirmed when Finn ran away that he was the traitor. We also weren’t expecting you to be still alive. There would have been no rescue mission. Until now, we thought you escaped on your own.”

Poe didn't have a problem with the ‘no rescue' part, he had figured that out long ago. No, it was the ‘not trusting Finn' part that irked him. It seemed so outside the realm of possibility for Poe, that it wasn’t even an option. Finn had proven himself in his eyes. And Poe knew that Organa was a true leader who took responsibility for the Resistance, and the ‘we’ could easily be a ‘they’. He also knew that Finn had betrayed a side once. Poe imagined that it all might be understandable, if he wanted to understand. He didn’t.

“Finn said that BB-8 made it,” Poe finally said.

His voice was blank and his eyes were down. He respected General Organa and what the Resistance stood for. He believed in the same ideals and that was not going to change. Unfortunately, neither was he willing to see things from their point of view. Some people were owed more. For Poe, Finn was that person.

Organa looked confused. “Yes, that’s how we knew the First Order had captured you.”

“Can BB-8 please come in?” Poe asked with an uncharacteristically formal tone, still not lifting his eyes from his blankets.

“Of course.”

“And General?”

Poe raised his eyes and saw that Organa was tense.

“BB-8 is going to be my only visitor.”

Organa gave a minute flinch and nodded. Poe thought about feeling guilty for three whole seconds. Then he remembered Finn, smiling and squeezing his shoulder, going to his death for all he knew. And Poe forgot all about guilt.

CHAPTER 2

A year and a half later, Poe was again captured by the First Order. It was getting a bit boring. A tad tedious. A routine, but this time he had friends to keep him company: Jess and Snap.

Poe's relationship with the people in the Resistance was exactly the same as it had been before his second holiday with the First Order. With one exception: every time Finn came up in conversation, Poe either got out or shut up. They learned pretty soon not to talk about him where Poe could hear.

Also, the Resistance hadn’t found the traitor and apparently they had struck again.

“This is boring,” Poe said.

Jess and Snap looked at him like he was crazy.

“What?!” Poe asked, laughing. “It’s my third time and it kind of loses its shine.” He realized something that made him sober up quickly. “Of course, this time no one's coming to my rescue.”

Snap and Jess exchanged looks. 

“We should sing,” Poe suggested.

Going by both of his friends' faces, it wasn’t the sanest remark.

“It will pass the time between torture sessions faster, and it will annoy the guards.” Poe shrugged and smirked. “That’s all the reason I need to do it, personally.”

Okay, so his anger tended to surface here and there. It was… a problem. One he wasn’t exactly in a hurry to solve.

Snap frowned. “I don’t think antagonizing them is the way here, Poe.”

“Maybe I can annoy them into not capturing me.” Poe smiled winningly.

“This is it, huh?” Jess said quietly. “This is your every capture from the other side. The certainty of pain, the fear, the uncertainty of anything else…” She suddenly smiled. “And you are acting the same as I always imagined you would.”

Poe paused for a second and watched them.

“Look, they don't have a good side. Just a bad one, and if you manage to touch a nerve, a worse one,” Poe said. “And you might not reach the same conclusion, but if I have to feel pain anyway, I choose the worse one.”

Snap nodded and opened his mouth to add something when the door opened. He shut his mouth with a click, and they all turned towards the hatch. A figure dressed in black came in. Oh-oh.

They were wearing an all-black helmet, black gloves, pants, shoes and tunic, with additional black hilts from two lightsabers—because clearly one wasn’t enough. Though to be fair, there were elements of tan leather in all the black: the two holsters and the corresponding belts, the armbands, and the hood. The leather, though, had slashes of red. Almost like…

Now, hang on a minute!

“Where did you get that jacket?” Poe shouted. He took a step forward when the figure didn’t give an immediate answer, his two friends scrambling to stop him. Poe was undeterred. “The leather, where did you get it?”

The figure extended his arm and Poe felt once again the press of the Force. He shook his head against it, but it wasn’t nearly enough. Gritting his teeth, Poe tried to ready himself for losing control over his body. In this case, preparation wouldn’t help, but what else could he do? Then, the pressure gentled. It didn’t invade, it didn’t conquer, it was more like... a hug, covering him softly. What?! Blinking, Poe did something completely new to him: he stepped back.

Jess and Snap immediately surrounded him. They probably thought he had been hurt, and pretty badly at that. It was unheard of for him to give ground so quickly. But, in his defense, he wasn’t expecting gentleness. It made him wary, suspicious, and he wanted to see the situation from afar.

“You always talk first,” the figure—it had a male voice—said. It and the words reminded Poe of something, or someone, but he didn’t know of what. “I'm one of the Ren Knights, my chosen name is Final.”

Final. Final Ren. Fin-al. It couldn’t be. And what had Poe said again—when he met Ren? Well, Kylo, Poe supposed...

“So Ren's a title?” Poe asked jokingly, mind still whirring. “Who knew?!”

The Force used on Poe gave a pulse. He hadn’t even known it was still there. And the way it felt… Like an arm squeeze his shoulder. His left shoulder.

“The Ren Knights knew,” the figure said. “I mean, for sure. Then, there’s the First Order, maybe?”

Poe took a leap of faith, and said completely out of the blue, “I can fly a TIE fighter.” He watched his fellow pilots, before adding, “I taught them too.”

“You can fly anything,” the figure complimented. “It’s good of you to share your knowledge.”

Poe could see from the corner of his eyes Jess frown and Snap mouthing the words, probably trying to figure out what they were talking about.

“Are you going to get us out?” Poe asked, hoping.

“What?” Jess asked only to be silenced by Snap's elbow burying into her ribs.

The figure ignored them with ease, instead answering Poe, “I’m not with the Resistance.”

A smile was forcing his way on Poe's face, but his brain wasn’t so convinced. “You are doing this because it’s right thing.”

“No,” the figure—Fi… no, the figure—said. “I just need a pilot.”

_That_ made it clear as day, and as improbable as it seemed…

“Finn?” Poe asked hopefully, and miraculously his voice held steady, regardless of what feelings he might have had.

The figure stilled for a bit, then disengaged the locks on his helmet. He got it out, and Poe had the strongest sense of déjà-vu, making it hard to breathe. Because there, in all his grinning glory, was Finn.

“Buddy!” Poe heard himself whisper. The next thing he knew, he was in a warm embrace, and two strong arms were enveloping him. He felt surrounded by the spicy smell of filtered air, leather, and clean skin. “Finn!” Poe gripped tighter.

“Poe Dameron,” Finn said with a chuckle. “How I've missed you!”

“About as much as I have you,” Poe answered laughing.

“I'll tell you all about it,” Finn said beaming. “But that’s for later. Right now, we have got to go.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Poe reluctantly took a step back. “Okay. Let’s go.”

“Commander?” Snap asked warningly.

Poe closed his eyes. He knew the Resistance hadn’t gotten past their denial concerning the traitor. Finn was convenient, Poe was aware of that. And he wasn’t making the decision for himself this time. But it was frustrating.

So Poe put his hand on Finn’s warm cheek, gently guiding him to meet Poe’s eyes. “Are you still you?”

Finn smiled softly. “Yes, I am still me, Poe.”

“Good enough for me.” Poe then swung around to his friends, and said, “There’s nothing ever sure. Even less when you’re captured. Now, I know and trust Finn, but there was a time when I didn’t know him, and I still took a risk. For me, now the risk isn't that big, but you have to decide that for yourselves: certainty of imprisonment, or the great unknown.” Poe paused for a few seconds, watching their faces, measuring his words. “As your Commander, I say we trust him, I take responsibility for that, but I won’t order you. This isn’t a mission; you may choose for yourselves.”

Snap and Jess were thinking, trying to communicate to each other, yes, but, generally reaching a decision on their own. Poe turned, he couldn’t help them now. He faced Finn, who was positively glowing.

“What’s that for?” Poe asked, the fondness in his voice bordering on adoring.

Finn shook his head, unsuccessfully suppressing his grin. “The way you trusted me, Poe… the fact that you still do, it will always amaze me.”

“Me? I amaze you?!” Poe huffed. “You are the one who beat years of brainwashing.” He took hold of Finn's forearms, stroking his thumbs over the leather. “And why wouldn’t I trust you? You came through for me again and again: first you save me, you save both of us when you prove to be an excellent gunner, you continue my mission, you come through for the Resistance, and then you save me again.”

Finn looks down. “I almost ran away during after we reached Takodana, and I had my reasons for going on that mission.”

“Yes, and that reason's name, both times, is Rey. But Finn, you had already finished my mission when you got to Takodana, and, regardless of why you went on Starkiller, when we made barely a dent in the weapon, you turned back. And, Finn that you wanted to run is not a failing. It’s why we met in the first place. You wanted something else, you went for it, and you knew the power the First Order wielded: you just have good self-preservation skills. Of course, they go right out the TIE fighter when someone you care about is in danger. Which reminds me—”

Finn was looking at him wide-eyed, fingers twitching in the air. “So you don’t care that I'm still not with the Resistance?”

“No, I don’t. I care that you’re with me,” Poe admitted. He hesitated, and then bit his lip. “I am so sorry for anything that happened to you because I… I left you. Because of me. You tried to help me, and I just left you there. With Kylo Ren. I wanted to turn back, but the hangar door closed, and then the turrets started firing…” Poe took a deep breath. “Thank you for saving me, for coming after me, and I'm so sorry that I just—”

“Did what I asked—no, _begged_ —you to do?” interrupted Finn with a wry smile.

Poe opened his mouth, then closed it. And then opening it again, he said with a mischievous grin, “That’s just one way of looking at it.”

“Now, is just one way of looking at it. Take the win, Dameron,” Finn said catching Poe's forearms with his own. “Sorry about the jacket.”

“You’re all right, and you still have a part of it. We’re good, buddy,” chuckled Poe. 

“We’re good.” Finn smiled.

“And we can go,” Snap said, looking between them with a frown, and a tremulous smile.

“All right, wait a second,” Finn said, and extended his arm again. “Creating shields is my specialty in using the Force, but I’m already protecting Poe and me. Also, I have to have some energy left to shield the TIE fighters. It should hold, in theory, but I didn’t have too much training, so try not to get hit. Same goes for the fighters.”

Finn put his helmet back on, and gestured toward the hatch. “After you.”

“You do know what you’re doing is treason, right?” Snap asked in a reproachful tone. “You’ll be a traitor.”

Poe straightened, tense.

“I’ve been one before,” Finn said with a shrug, he put a comforting hand on Poe’s shoulder, pushing him towards the exit. “It’s not so bad. Even made a couple of friends,” Finn continued flippantly.

Knocking, Finn called the guard in, and said, “They need a breath of fresh air.”

“I am not allowed to let you take them anywhere,” the Stormtrooper protested.

Finn paused and sighed. He took out one of his lightsabers and activated it. “You’re not _letting_ me do anything, are you?”

“Sir!” the Stormtrooper said outraged.

“I want to see you. Helmet! Out! Come on!” Finn said sharply, while the Stormtrooper scrambled to comply. “Now, see here.”

Finn gestured sharply with the lightsabers, and the move was so sudden and violent, that Poe almost didn’t see his other hand, as he quickly brought out the remaining hilt over the Stormtrooper's head. Poe winced as the man fell. Finn caught the Stormtrooper, and dragged him in the room.

“I guess they were warned,” Jess joked.

“Guess they were,” Finn answered. “We don’t have much time until he's discovered.”

They made their way down the corridor, and ducked into a vent as soon as they found one big enough. Soon enough, the vent went up. Finn started climbing. Poe shrugged. He grinned at the others, and followed Finn. Poe was sure that—yep, there it was—Snap groaned and started muttering about short people. Chuckling, Poe continued climbing.

“Can’t you—” Jess got caught off by a huge indrawn breath. She stopped. “Can’t you use the Force?” Jess quickly asked, and, with an annoyed huff, started again.

“Nope,” Finn said sunnily.

They got to the highest level, the hangar, eventually. The vent evened out. Poe got signaled by Finn to wait, while he went to the grill. Finn waited for a few minutes, then nodded. Poe nodded in turn, signaled the others the way was clear, and hurried down the vent himself.

“I go first. Wait a bit, and then follow. Go to the fighters. I'll join you,” whispered Finn, and didn’t wait for an answer.

As he watched Finn drop down from the grill, Poe said to himself, “You better, because I'm not leaving without you.”

Finn landed, and they must have discovered the Stormtrooper, because immediately the madness started. Though he ducked under a set of stairs at first, Finn was soon up, both lightsabers activated, the red becoming a blur as Finn fought off the blaster bolts. Soon enough, everyone was paying attention to the lightsaber-wielding madman, and Poe along with his fellow pilots stayed virtually undetected as they made their way to the TIE fighters. As soon as they were inside, Finn merged his two lightsabers into a saberstaff. He started twirling it with his right arm, stopping the incoming bolts without breaking a sweat, while extending his other in a position that was soon becoming familiar.

But at that exact moment, a Stormtrooper snuck up behind him, and aimed his blaster at Finn's back. Five, six shots hit him. Poe, heart in his throat, thought Finn was gone. But, he was all still alive and moving. How was he—oh, the shield. Right.

Finn turned around and, using his staff as a spear, pushed the end of the saberstaff through the Stormtrooper's shoulder… while holding on to the other—very red, very hot—end.

“Damn,” Poe whispered admiringly.

Finn shielded the fighters again, at the price of getting himself surrounded, and signaled Poe to go.

“Nuh-uh,” Poe said while starting the fighter, after first losing the anchor. “Nope. You’re not doing this to me again, Finn.”

So Poe lifted off, signaled Jess and Snap to provide the much needed cover fire, and right when he was about to get out, Poe doubled back.

The total surprise in Finn's body language was funny—Poe hadn’t seen someone flail like that in a long time—heartwarming, and at the same time heartbreaking, but Poe didn’t have time to appreciate it. He ginned widely, and lifted an eyebrow in challenge. Poe was _not_ leaving Finn.

Finn shook his head, twirled his saberstaff a couple more times, and with a final flourish, that ended with him disengaging the two lightsabers, he stepped back. He ran the short distance to the fighter, absentmindedly flicking bolts along the way and started climbing. Halfway there, he deactivated the lightsabers and holstered them, to free his hands. He entered Poe's blind spot, and the next thing Poe knew, Finn was opening the hatch of the fighter and coming in.

“How’s my gunner feeling today?” Poe asked pleasantly.

“…Poe!” Finn's voice told of story of much frustration and confusion.

Poe decided not to address either feeling, and said innocently, “I need my gunner!”

“Let’s see if I remember the commands,” Finn said dubiously. With a hiss, his helmet was off, and he started to flip switches and push buttons seemingly at random. “Okay, I got it.”

Poe smiled a little besotted and a lot impressed. He didn’t know many people who were able to remember an unknown sequence in the heat of an escape, with the added pressure of having committed treason. The number decreased considerably for remembering that same sequence, almost two years later in similar circumstances. But that was Finn.

“Going in,” Poe announced, as he swooped to the closest turrets.

“Okay, give me a second,” Finn said absentmindedly.

The turrets exploded.

“Got them. Two down, six to go,” Finn confirmed.

“Four to go,” Poe corrected when he saw smoke rising from another two.

“Very nice!”

“Yep,” Poe said. “We got the two in the north?”

“We—” Finn could be heard smiling, and the turrets exploded, “—have, yes.”

“Let’s see how the others are doing in the south,” Poe proposed.

“All right.”

They passed by once, Jess and Snap had done their part, and then they were out.

“I’m half expecting you to say you forgot something and have to go back for it,” Finn said amused.

“I almost did,” Poe said chidingly. “You.”

 “Don't remind me.” Finn sighed. “Nothing happened last time. I even learned how to use the Force.”

“Yes, it's a bit odd,” Poe said, perplexed. “Luke Skywalker and Rey are usually around, and I have never seen them touch a lightsaber. That’s very strong by Jedi parameters, I think. But you can only do shields with it. Which seems pretty much impossible.”

“For the first year, I couldn’t do anything, just trained with a lightsaber. I trained so much in fact, that Kylo gave me the twin lightsabers. I thought they were awesome!” Finn said, sounding delighted.

“And they suit you very well.” Poe’s attention, though, had zeroed in on another thing. “Kylo?”

“He was the man who handled the training. I got to know him a little. But then he got crazy strong, and the stronger he was, the more disobedient he became.” Finn shrugged. “Actually, the rest of the Ren Knights had a theory about how Kylo had been beaten by Rey because he didn’t know himself. She had no training next to his years, so they think he lacked conviction at a critical time. They used this to make me believe I had to be sure of my path, otherwise I will lose every time. I just thought they underestimated Rey.”

Poe laughed. “I am going to go with the truth is a bit of both. Maybe Kylo didn’t know himself, but Rey is a force of nature.”

“Yeah, she is, isn’t she?” Finn sounded fond. “How is she doing?”

Poe tried not to feel jealous, as he answered, “She’s all right. A Jedi in-training. She never believed you had betrayed the Resistance, but she couldn’t come after you without finishing her training. Apparently, those are Skywalker's rules after what happened with Ben.”

“That’s all right. I'm glad she's fine,” Finn said, and Poe heard honesty in his tone. “Anyway, Kylo is the reason I got in trouble this time too. When he finally ran away, and I say finally because it had been coming for a long time, Supreme Leader Snoke cracked down on all of us. Me especially.” Finn chuckled. “ _Supreme_ _Leader_ , let me tell you, I'd have been a lot more impressed by him if not for his dramatics. I mean Kylo was a pretty over the top guy, but Snoke, he projects himself as tall as a building. I am now pretty certain he's as tall as my hip. Which you know, it wouldn’t be a problem if he didn’t insist he was larger than life.”

Poe bit his lip to suppress a giggle. “Mmhmm.”

“As I said, he came down on the Ren Knights, and since at the time I couldn’t use the Force—they guessed it was some of fluke, I was desperate to protect you, sometimes the Force helps people like that—I was sent back to Phasma for wiping. Waste not, you know? I was going to be a Stormtrooper again.”

Poe’s breathing quickened, and he felt like he was falling. “But you weren’t.” His voice, however, was not as certain as he have liked.

“No,” Finn's voice was again colored by amusement that soon was joined by satisfaction. “That’s when they discovered I made pretty good mental shields. I wouldn’t let them wipe me again. After that, I worked on expanding my range. It went from inside, to outside, to things, and others. In the end, I couldn’t beat most of my fellow Knights, but neither could they.”

“Are you going to be a Jedi now?” Poe asked, while he put in the destination of a nearby port. 

“No. It’s impossible.”

“That’s crazy,” Poe said, and turned around in his seat so he could see Finn.

Finn shrugged, and turned too. “Jedi have rules, a code that they live by. I'm not qualified. “

“What are you talking about?”

“Think about it. I have always put the individual above the mission—”

“That’s a good thing.”

“Not always. Sometimes, it's selfish,” Finn explained. “For example when we went on the Starkiller my only interest was Rey. I mean, everybody was losing their collective minds about their planet blowing up, and I was really looking for Rey.”

“Yeah, but then you didn’t.”

“Because I'm not a nerf-herder.” Finn laughed. “I get it. You think I'm a good man, and maybe I am,” he allowed. “But I'm not a Jedi. And I didn’t want to be. Plus, I'm too powerful for them. Not that they are not powerful, but they mold the Force after that code. That’s why you never see a Jedi catch a lightsaber with their bare hands. If you go too far into a certain area, the power becomes chaotic, uncontrollable. I'm not evil, I’m not planning to be, and probably I won’t be, because I don’t have the training needed—remember I only win with my lightsabers, I don’t have a Force offensive—or the curiosity.”

Poe nodded, but felt himself frown.

Finn smiled. “I'll tell you what,” he offered. “If I shield an entire base, you pull on my sleeve, and tell me to take a step back, okay? That would be a definite sign.”

Poe smiled gratefully. “And you don’t care about that many people to actually risk it.”

For the first time, Poe understood the selfish thing. It’s not what he would do, but, at the same time, he couldn’t fault Finn for thinking like that. There weren’t that many people on his side, and those were the only people that truly mattered to him. As for the others, Finn had already made the choice to leave the wrong side, the side with the senseless violence, what more could they ask from him?

“Where are we going?” Finn changed the subject with his usual grace.

Smiling, Poe said, “We’re going to a neutral port to change into something less conspicuous.”

“Then D'Qar?”

“No.” Poe smirked. “We changed base.”

Finn's eyes narrowed. “Where is the new base?”

“Hoth.”

“Jakkar, Hoth.” Finn weighed his palms. “I don’t know which is worse. Didn’t the Empire have a base there?”

“The Rebellion first,” Poe said, still smirking. “After the war it was abandoned. Now, the planet’s ours. It wouldn’t occur to anybody to look for us there.”

Finn made a disgusted face. “I understand the Resistance has its reasons,” he admitted freely. “But Poe… at what _cost_?!”

CHAPTER 3

As soon as they reached Hoth with a transport Jess and Snap were off to debrief. Poe’s turn would come later. He had to clear things with Finn.

“You know, you could go,” Poe started tentatively. “You've done more than enough.”

Finn cocked his head. “You want me to go?” He frowned.

“No!” Poe shouted. He continued at a more normal volume. “No, of course not. I'm saying _you_ don't have to stay, not that _I_ didn’t want you to stay.”

“And would you?”

“Would I want you to stay?”

Finn nodded.

“I do. Of course, I do. But Finn—what you’ve been through… I wouldn’t blame you for leaving. There's the whole galaxy to explore, or, maybe, find a nice planet, far away from the war. Live in peace.”

“That sounds amazing, Poe.” Finn's smile was bitter-sweet, and sighed. “I don’t know how to do any of that. I mean, I could learn... But I think I’d rather stay here. Not here, on this frosted popsicle, but with you. And Rey. Though you both never needed me too much.”

This wasn’t what Poe wanted to hear. “Don’t do this for us,” he pleaded.

“There was this guy… Stormtrooper, they called him Slip. I always tried to look out for Slip, because I was the best at whatever they taught us. But I ended up punished because I put Slip ahead the mission. When we went to Jakkar, Phasma had decided that I couldn’t to do that anymore.” He paused, and Poe's stomach dropped. “He died.”

Poe knew that they were others firing, but so was he. “I think I killed him,” he said horrified, trying to remember something, anything from that night.

“You did,” Finn answered.

Poe froze, speechless.

“You were only defending yourself. But that’s not my point,” Finn explained. “I was not allowed to look after him. And now, _no one_ can tell me what to do. So if I can live as I want to, I chose to do it in a way that means I can be there for my friends if they need me.”

Poe felt himself smile, and he was sure it was besotted. “You can make new friends,” he tried.

“The best pilot in the Resistance, and the new Jedi? Are you kidding me?” Finn joked. “I happen to like my friends.” He put a hand above Poe’s heart. “They can hold their own, and still lean on me from time to time. I stumbled upon some great friends.”

“They are lucky to have found you, too,” Poe said honestly. “You’re staying.”

“Yes,” Finn answered, and swallowed. He hesitated, then tried to cover it with a grin. “If only to avoid you getting captured for a fourth time. Honestly Poe, it's not a competition… What's wrong?”

Poe didn’t know what kind of face he was making, but he was sure Finn was lying. “I could ask to the same question.”

Finn opened his mouth to say something, probably another lie, because he thought better of it, and closed it back up. He took a deep breath. “Since we're being honest, I thought I'd—but I changed my mind.”

Poe nodded.

“No, I think I’ll get it over with now.” Finn took another deep breath, and said, “So… I started seeing one of my friends in a romantic light. In fact, I pretty much always saw them in that light.”

Poe didn’t want to hope, but his breathing had quickened. “Which one?”

“If that’s not all right with them, then I can—”

“Name, _please_.”

There was a gentle smile on Finn's lips, dark eyes open wide, as he said, “Poe Dameron.” When Poe failed to produce a sound, Finn raised his eyebrows; a mischievous light entered his eyes. “It’s you, Poe.”

“Bud—”

Poe stopped when he saw the censure on Finn's face.

“Right, I know I keep calling you ‘buddy’, but it's the first thing that came to mind,” Poe apologized. “You don't have to worry about me not being all right with it, I'm totally in the same X-wing. I thought I was pretty obvious when I gave you my coat.”

Finn looked down. “I didn’t want to assume.”

Poe rolled his eyes, amused and feeling the need to touch. He was allowed now. They both exchanged smiles, and take a few steps toward each other. Both their grins got larger and larger, until they were a couple of lunatics watching each other from a few fingers' length. Poe made the ‘mistake’ of biting his lip, though to be fair, it wasn’t on purpose. The next thing he knew, his lip is being bitten by another mouth. Poe made a sound of surprise, only to be swallowed up by a second set of lips. He closed his eyes to savor the feeling, and was delighted when he heard Finn moan.

They broke the kiss off with the same crazed smiled, Poe having had maneuvered his arms around Finn, leaving them intertwined. Poe lowered his head on Finn’s shoulder, feeling as if he had just climbed out of his X-wing. Breathing in, Poe held on, feeling safe for some reason, and at peace. Finn's arms tightened around him.

“Finn?”

Finn made an affirmative noise.

“Why does your coat only reach your knees?” Poe asked with an absent sort of curiosity. “I mean, Kylo Ren had a full length one.”

“I used to have a long one,” Finn said, and his voice came out weird.

Poe had to see. He pushed off Finn shoulder, to see his face. And, yep, he was straight up pouting.

“What happened?” Poe asked, struggling to contain his laughter.

“I kept tripping.”

Poe snorted.

Finn gave him a look. “One day in training, I finally had it with that damn coat.”  A smirk bloomed on his face. “I took a lightsaber to it.”

Poe started laughing, and Finn resisted bravely for all of three seconds, before giving in, and laughing himself.

Still chuckling, Poe said, “Let’s go to debrief.”

“How’s that?”

“You never had one?”

“No. We ju—”

Finn was interrupted by a shout.

“Was that Rey?” Finn asked, but didn’t need to wait for an answer.

It was her. At least, it sounded like her to Poe, too. He started running after Finn, toward the sound.

They reached it, but they got the level wrong. They were one down. Also, they were in the wrong part of the building. Rey had shouted from General Organa's office, which was an area not open to the public. So there were only four access doors to that building, two on the first level, and two on the last. They were for security; a remnant of the Empire. Since the other part of building was built in the mountain side, it was a lot taller, which meant they were three levels down from the only door they could get to, with an added four up.

“How do get there?”

“By the access door on the first level,” Poe immediately replied.

“That’s too far!”

“I know, but we're not the only people here,” Poe soothed.

They couldn't go in, but they could see well enough. Still, Poe had some trouble believing what he was seeing. In the office was Rey, General Organa, Luke Skywalker, and a tall, black haired man, with his long hair in a bun, wearing a long green coat. Nothing too unusual, but the man looked like…

“Is that Kylo Ren?”

“He's not a part of the Ren Knights, so technically just Kylo… But, thank you for asking. I thought I was seeing things.”

“So it is him?” Poe insisted.

Finn shook his head. “I can't tell.”

Skywalker got out his lightsabers, and said loudly, “You have hurt my sister enough.”

Rey followed suit. But Ren—Kylo; somebody else?—didn’t look impressed. In fact, he barely turned his head toward the lightsabers, before going back to watching General Organa.

“You don’t have a traitor,” a deep voice announced. The man had opened his mouth, but that sounded way too close to Poe.

“Yep, it's Kylo,” announced Finn.

Poe simply stared questioningly, his eyes opened wide.

Finn turned, saw Poe, and sighed, but his lips twitched. “Crazy strong, remember?”

“In my defense, I didn’t know what to expect.” Poe shrugged.

“Yes, we do have a traitor,” Skywalker said loudly with a dramatic flourish of his blue lightsaber. “You.”

“Oh, do shut up, Master Jedi,” Kylo said, losing his calm. He sneered. “Or should I say _teacher_?”

“I'm not your teacher,” Luke shouted.

“No,” Kylo admitted. “You’re not.”

Rey took a step forward, determination written in every line of her body.

“Can't you shield her?” Poe asked, worried when Finn didn’t move.

Maybe Finn's loyalties were split. It had happened before. Last time, Poe unknowingly had something to gain from it—his freedom—this time, maybe the Resistance wasn’t so lucky.

“I can’t,” Finn said sadly.

Poe nodded, already having figured that out.

But Finn continued, “We’re on opposite sides of the Force. If I shield her, it won’t matter what it is, she would only detect an intrusion, and try to get rid of it. That would mean using her energy, and her attention. She needs both now.”

“Oh,” Poe said guiltily. He hurried to reassure, “Rey is strong.”

“I know.” Finn cocked his head. “And I don’t think Kylo wants to fight.”

“Yes, it makes no sense. Why would he fight them all at once?” Poe agreed. “Maybe he hadn't been here that long and just stormed in.”

“It’s not like anyone could tell with those clothes,” Finn pointed out. “He could have been anybody.”

“Yep,” Poe murmured.

Organa and Skywalker had been talking over each other, but Poe couldn’t hear. He started looking for a quicker way to get in there. They'd have made it the normal way by now.

“You dare talk to me about family?” Kylo seethed.

Oh-uh. Poe knew that was a sensitive subject—for everyone. He shared a look with Finn.

“You were _always_ honest with your family. You _always_ did have your family interests at forefront of your mind. Well then… Tell Rey you how you thought only about her when you left her on Jakku. Alone.”

Poe was surprised into silence, while Finn eyebrows went up.

Skywalker took a step towards Kylo, pretty much confirming what Kylo said was true.

“Ohhh,” muttered Finn.

“That’s not true,” Organa tried yelling, with zero conviction.

“She didn’t even try.” Finn shook his head sadly. “She doesn’t even get points for effort.”

If the situation hadn't been so serious, Poe would have laughed. As it was he fought down a smile, and put on his serious face. He took care to let his disapproval be read clearly on his face. By the looks of it, Finn wasn’t buying it, and he continued to be completely unremorseful. Which kind of made sense, since Rey was the only person in the room he cared about.

“You aren’t angry. That doesn’t surprise me,” Kylo said. “But you have to know two things: one, I only found out about a year ago; second, I can't find out if you’re my sister or my cousin, though there’s a better chance of you being my cousin.”

A very bright light suddenly flared.

“I wouldn’t try that,” Kylo said calmly.

And Poe saw, through narrowed eyes, that the light came from Kylo's new lightsaber. It was an odd color though, grey. And so very, very bright. He had activated his lightsaber as a warning to Skywalker who had gotten dangerously close.

“Again, this is what I found out while I stayed here: you don’t have a traitor, you have a spy,” Kylo declared. “Commander Tienga is part of the First Order.”

A floor down, there was a chair upside down on the floor, and, further in the room, Commander Tienga's back, quickly disappearing.

“Go!” Poe shouted.

Finn was already running down the stairs. Poe followed him, speeding after Finn. The last thing Poe saw was Organa getting closer with her hands outstretched, and Kylo watching her warily. He couldn’t watch anymore, so he let them to their spat, knowing that Organa was with two Jedi. There was nothing he could do against Kylo anyway.

But there was something Poe could do. He could provide backup for Finn. That was, if Poe ever caught up with him. Finn was fast. Poe cursed under his breath.

“Poe, access door!” Finn shouted.

“Code: DB8-BX71NN,” Poe responded.

“Two ‘n’s?”

Poe finally reached him. “Yep.” While Finn typed in the last letter, Poe got close to the receiver, and spoke into it, “Commander Poe Dameron.”

The door opened just in time. Clanking on the last steps was Tienga. As soon as she saw them, she doubled back. Finn leaped after her, and he grabbed hold of the back of her jacket. She spun back around, aimed a kick at his head, and, while he was ducking, she rushed toward back toward the door.

Poe knew he would never get the door open on time, and that he was never going to leave Finn behind, not again. Besides, there were two of them—with one who actually knew what he was doing—against one. He’d had worse odds. So, Poe did the only thing he could: he stood in front of the door, and braced for impact.

An impact that never came. Poe heard a noise of lightsabers activating, a click, and the next thing he knew, Tienga was very carefully not moving. Her face was bathed in a calm red light; Finn's lightsaber—no, his saberstaff—held next to her neck. Poe took a deep breath.

“Take off her jacket, and tangle it around her arms. Make it tight,” Finn said, not moving.

“All right.”

Poe got to work. He had never done this before, but then again Finn had never been a gunner, and he did a great job, so this was only fair. Plus, Poe only had to make it so she wouldn't be able to get free within the next five minutes.

“Good?” Poe checked.

“Yes, very,” Finn beamed. “Step back.”

Poe did, without hesitation, and only when he saw Tienga’s horrified face, did it occur to him that it may be odd to trust the guy who held a saberstaff to somebody’s throat. Oh, well, Poe trusted him. And Finn repaid that trust, when climbed down the steps. He disengaged and deactivated the lightsabers. Then he pressed on two points on Tienga’s neck, at the same time as one her back, and she was out.

Huh, maybe Poe should learn that.

“We make a pretty good team,” Poe said proudly.

Finn laughed.

 

EPILOGUE

Jess knew that the spy was the mole, but she was still wary around Finn, which was a bit of a problem since he was her rescuer, and Commander Poe's lover. So, she tried very hard to not allow a change in her behavior when she passed by him in the corridor. Maybe that’s why she straightened comically. She was so bad at this!

“That’s why I became a pilot,” Jess muttered.

Just as Finn—or Final Ren—passed Jess by, she ducked into another corridor that intersected the first. Since they had to change base again, maybe she could vote for somewhere big; where you could see people coming. She hated the endless maze of corridors. It was a good thing she had a decent sense of direction. She went along the corridor for a bit calculating where she would need to take her next three rights to get her to the same place. Jess stopped for a second to get her bearings. She was in an open square space that contained the stairs and connected with the other building, so she had to go a level up or down, and then make her way back. Or maybe, she could… She blinked.

Finn was walking down a corridor, one level above her. But how did he even get there? She had just passed him. Was it the Force? Everybody kept saying that it didn’t work like that, but she saw Kylo Ren disappear. She knew what she was talking about. So maybe Finn had lied about his abilities. Maybe…

Oh, kriff! Helmet, gloves, similar height. Maybe the masked man she saw earlier was Poe in Finn's clothes. It certainly sounded like something the Commander would do.

“Dameron,” Jess sighed, frustrated.

Jess guessed he had made his point. She was irrationally wary. Yeah, yeah... She headed toward the commissary. Jess had a feeling she wasn’t the only one who had been fooled. It was a most comforting thought.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want to comment (or just talk to me) you can do it here or on my [tumblr](http://e-alexandrescu.tumblr.com/).


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